So this evening I sat at my kitchen table with my mother-in-law chit chatting. We always have such great conversations. Well we stumbled onto the topic of my pregnancy and how Brian thinks I am having a relationship with my pregnancy. Which got me thinking, I really am having a relationship with my pregnancy.
It comsumes my every thought. When he moves I feel like the world should stop. I know it does for me. I spend my days dreaming of holding him in my arms, what he will smell like, look like, act like, etc. I dream of setting up his crib in our room and giving him his own little nook. I dream of when he is sitting up and smiling, playing and just so excited to see his big brother. I spend my days dreaming about our unborn son. If I am not dreaming I am watching my stomach move, stopping what I am doing to look down at the ball of baby or feel his feet kick my side.
Since I have found out I was pregnant it has consumed my every thought. Dont get me wrong, I havent ignored my husband and son but Brian can sense that I am constantly distracted. For those of you who have had a been pregnant I am sure you understand.
So I guess in a sense I am having a relationship with my pregnancy. Brian is concerned that once the baby comes that I will go into a deep depression because I am no longer pregnant. I can see why he would think that but I will be so happy to be holding my boy that I will get over it. Now I am sad in thinking that this is the last time I will ever have a baby in my belly. Since that may be the case I will savor this last eight weeks for all its worth. I may want my baby now but I also want to cherish every moment I have with him inside the womb!!!
So last week I made a very motherly decision. I was happy with my decision. I made plans to go to the beach with my sister-in-law. I was so excited because I have seen her only one time since Thanksgiving.
The night before I got a call asking if I would like to go on a field trip with Owens class. I said yes and cancelled my plans with my sister-in-law. It was not a hard thing to do as I really felt a need to be there for Owen. I believe that is one of the reasons I am now a stay-at-home-mother. So I can do these things. I was totally bummed to not be at the beach with Sarah but felt really confident I made the right choice.
Sometimes as a mom you have to make these kinds of decisions. I will always choose my children and family to give them what they need. Luckily I have great people in my life that understand that and dont ever give me a hard time.
I am a mom and wife before I am anything else. My family is the most important thing in the world. I will always be there for them. I want them to know that no matter what they can count on me. I am very lucky that I have the opportunity to go with Owen on his field trips, coach his tball team, read to his class, and just participate in his life. I dont plan on that slowing down when the baby comes. I may not coach his tball team next year but me and the baby will be right there on the sidelines cheering him on.