Friday, July 16, 2010

To defend or not to defend...

Yesterday was a big day in the world of parenting. Owen has been being bullied a little bit at camp by some kid. His counselor says that this kid is constantly antagonizing Owen and some other kids. Of course my first question is "is it both ways?". I felt bad asking this but if you know Owen you know he is not innocent in any way. I am pretty fair in believing it takes two. Well she said Owen really doesn't ever do anything to deserve this kid doing what he does.

According to Owen this kids punches him and makes fun of him. So yesterday when they were playing dodge ball and Owen had the ball, the kid punched Owen and took it from him. Well Owen walked up to him and punched him back.

Normally we have a "HANDS OFF" policy. There is never any hitting or punching allowed. In this situation Brian and I feel that Owen had the right to defend himself. Never once did we say it was OK to hit this boy. I simply told him that we do not hit EVER. I am in no way mad at Owen for what he did. To be honest this kid had it coming.

My nephew Evan was with me when the counselor was telling me what happened. He was apparently listening very intently. Later, when we were on the beach having an ice cream he says "Who is this boy, is he five? I will beat him up if he messes with Owen!!!"

Again, I don't condone hitting or punching but how cute is that. He wants to defend his cousin. I just thanked him and said it would not be necessary. We don't need to beat anyone up.

So Brian and I feel we made the right choice in not punishing Owen for what he did. I feel like it will not be the last time he gets into it with someone. Owen is not an aggressive kid and although he has a mouth he is not a trouble maker. He just wants to have fun all the time (which can and will get him in trouble).

So I wonder what other parents tell their children. I will always want Owen to defend hiself. Some of the kids at camp and at school are pretty tough and come from not so good homes. I just want him to be nice to everyone but stand up for himself. I know, it seems like I want it all! I kind of do (hehehe).

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