What is the Secret to Being a Good Parent?

I need to know. This parenting thing is much harder than I ever thought it would be. There are times I want to run away and hide. That is not possible but its what I want to do. I am have constant  feelings of guilt and for no reason what so ever. If Owen has a hard day, its my fault. If he is hurting, its my fault. If he is mean to someone, its my fault. If he gets hurt by someone, its my fault. If Shane is crying, its my fault. If he looks sad because he cant smile yet, its my fault.

These are all things that I have no control over but feel so guilty for all the time. Hense, running away to hide.

Everyday I wake up and say today I will do it differently. I will try harder to not get distracted when I am sitting down with Owen to play. I wont think about the piles of laundry, the dishes in the sink, the dirty floors and the unmade beds. I will sit with him and enjoy the time I have. I am usually unsucessful. I get distracted and get up to do what needs to be done.

I am a better mother out of the house. Less distractions. Its so much easier for me to say "OK O, lets go to the park" or "OK O, lets go get ice cream". This way we pack up and are away from the mess for some one on one time. Bonding. We have the best conversations in the car. He loves to be out and about. I love to be out and about. I guess I have to accept the fact that we are not really home bodies.

That doesnt mean we dont like to be home. There is nothing better than staying in on a crisp, fall afternoon with a fire going in the fireplace, french onion soup in the crock pot, and Sigor Ros playing in the back ground. That is our families ideal "at home/family time".

Brian is more of a home body. Its probably because he is always away from the home. He is working, traveling, and for the past six weeks has been running the majority of the errands. I am lucky to have such a hard working husband. So I try to give him his Sundays at home!

This post has spun off. So the secret to being a good parent? I dont have the answer. I have said it before and I will say it again, if you love your kids and give them positive attention they will turn out ok. Thats my secret to parenting. I dont know if its the secret but its mine.

These are the times I live for...goofing around with my boys!

Maybe some snuggling...

Taken by OB

Taken by OB

But mostly goofing...

Photographer - Owen Boissonneault
Director - Owen Boissonneault

Photographer - Owen Boissonneault
Director - Owen Boissonneault

sideways shot of this precious smile...the flash would make him stop smiling.

Six Weeks, Babies and Crabs!

So here we are, Shane will be six weeks tomorrow. How fast time flies! I feel likeit was just yesterday that I was pregnant. As the days go by life with two kids gets easier and easier. I feel like this is what I was put on this earth to do...be a mom and wife.

Its not always rainbows and unicorns but for the most part I love it more than anything. Yes, there are other things I need in my life to call my own like a career, friends and hobbies but I am right where I want to be.

Shane is so loved by so many people. He has had so many visitors over the past six weeks.

Shane, you are so lucky to be loved by so many!!!!

We are still trying to pump a little here and there so he can be bottle fed. It gives me a break. I must say, its hard to pump. I try to do a few ounces a day.

Brian, Joe, Angie and the boys went crabbing down the street from us. The boys loved every moment of it (both young and old).

They caught about eight crabs. Joe seasoned some water so we could cook them. I passed on the crab for the evening but it was pretty neat that they went down the street, caught crabs, cooked them and ate them for dinner.

I have myself a little helper. Victoria is my niece. She is almost ten now and quite the helper. I spent the day with her while everyone was crabbing. It was so nice. We chit, chatted all day. Girl time was nice. I cant believe how big she is now!!!! She was born the year after I met Brian. I remember when Angie was pregnant with her. Its been so amazing to see how she has grown over the past ten years. Angie and Joe have done such a great job with their kids!!!

Victoria held Shane for hours while he slept on her. She put him to sleep and did so good. When it was time for him to wake up and stay awake she did that too. I remember being ten and so in love with babies. I know when she gets a little older she will be such a great babysitter. For now she is a wonderful mothers helper. I just wish we lived closer.

So we have been really busy lately. Owens social schedule is pretty crazy I tell you! I dont mind though. He loves it.

In our spare time we just putt putt around the house messing around.

Owen with his Terryville teeth (no offense if you live in Terryville).

My Dilema

So here I sit, on my computer while both kids sleep. Here is my dilema. I have a messy house. It needs to be cleaned. Yet here I sit. I wonder, should I go to bed, should I clean my house, should I just sit here and do nothing. I really am not sure.

What do other mothers do when they have this time to themselves?

I usually like to take the time for myself and do what ever it is I want to do. The problem is that there are so many things I want to do and need to do that I end up doing nothing.

Its a vicious cycle.

I get so overwhelmed with the wants and needs that nothing gets done. Then the kids come home or wake up and nothing got done.

I know, I know, I am crazy. I will get into a routine at some point.

I have it all set up in my head. I just need to apply it to real life.

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I am blogging twice in one day...rare for me lately. There has been so much on my mind and I have not had the time to get it out.

Tonight I am alone, Brian is in Boston watching Couples Retreat in his hotel room, Owen and Shane are sleeping and I have silence! I am laying in my air conditioned room in bed. Yes, its the end of Sept and I have the AC on. Its muggy and hot and I just want a good, comfortable sleep.

Speaking of sleep, my eyes are getting heavy. I need to get to sleep. Although, Shane will be waking up in a bit to eat. So here is another Dilema, do I go to bed now and maybe get woken up in 20 min. Or stay up and he may sleep for the next four hours? I am going to bed.

Good Night!

One year later...

I feel like it was yesterday that we lost a very special lady. My grandmother passed away due to a long, hard struggle with diabetes. She was a strong, brave woman. Over the last few years of her life she struggled with her disease. She lost a toe, then her leg. It was a long hard road she traveled. She did it gracefully but you could tell it was hard on her. Loosing her leg was hard. Imagine living your whole life with both legs then one day you are told you are losing one. It had to have been so hard. I admire her for all she went through. I hope to be as strong as she was.

I have been so blessed to have had three beautiful women I get to call my grandmothers. Over the past four years I have lost all of them but I know they are with my in my heart.

What was the hardest part of the day is that she never got the chance to meet Shane. She is what we call the baby lover. She loves babies so much.

My mom, Aunts and Uncles are very strong to have gotten through this day.

My mom came down to spend the day with shane and I. It was good for her to be around the baby. I hope he cheered her up. He always cheers me up!!!

Rest in peace mama...you are very missed by all of us. We know you are up there looking down on all of us, guiding us through our good times and bad! I cant wait to see you some day!

All Smiles One Month Later

So we have ourselves a smiling baby!!!



It is the cutest thing ever. He is trying to talk and always looks like he has something to say. I couldnt ask for a better baby.

This boy is growing fast! He is one month old today and man is he huge. He is wearing 3-6 months and it fits him perfectly. It wont last much longer!!!

Shane and Owen both have runny noses. Shanes is stuffed and Owens is running. I got lots of junk out of Shanes today. Not that anyone needs to know that but the poor kid is soooo stuffed up. It breaks my heart. Tis the season.

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Fall is coming. I cant wait. This is my favorite time of year! I love the crisp cool air, the leaves changing color, warm clothes, fires in the fire place, pumpkin carving, apple picking, picture taking!!! I love it all!

September 11, 2010

This day nine years ago I woke up to a beautiful, sunny morning. Got ready for work and off I went. Only to get there, sit at my desk and hear that a plane crashed into the World Trade Center. I could not believe my ears. I called my mom who was home in bed after having knee surgery. I called my dad who was in Florida and knew all the details. I called my friends to say I love you. I remember that day like it was yesterday and will always remember the people I was with. I may not be in touch but they hold a special place in my heart.

My thoughts and prayers are with all the people who lost their life! I will spend many moments today thinking about them and their families. I will appreciate my family every moment of every day and never take them for granted. I see how short life is. Everday I wake up I really dont know what will happen so lets all live life like its our last day.