Wishing

So I am surrounded by pregnant women who are due months before me. I just want to say that I am feeling a bit jealous. I want to meet my baby now! I want to hold him, smell him, touch him, hear him, feed him and cuddle with him. I don't want to wait. I am finally starting to feel pregnant. My belly is constantly getting in the way. My back is achy and I am tired. The miracle of the second trimester energy is coming to an end. I really dont mind be pregnant. In fact I am enjoying it. There is nothing better than feeling a limb scrape across the inside of your belly. I love it so much.

I am having tons of anxiety though. I am nervous that we will not be ready when he decides to join our family.

My life will be so different in four months and I dont even realize it. I am carrying on everyday as if it weren't going to change. Instead I wonder if I should be spending as much one on one time with my boy as I can. I am signing him up for summer camp at the beach for five weeks this summer. I wonder if I should keep him home with me to spend extra time. I just dont know what people normally do to prepare for the arrival of a second child. Or how to prepare Owen for the arrival. What should I be telling him? What should I be doing with him? Will he act up more than he already does when his brother gets here? Will I be able to handle all of this? I dont know, I am sure I will, everyone that has two kids added the second one and had to adjust at one time or another. It seems to work out.

Life will calm down a little bit in about 4 1/2 weeks. I will be done with work and that stress will be relieved.

I feel like I have tons of things going on in my head. Here is a list of what is going though my mind.

• I am constantly thinking of ways to redecorate our home.
  
  
• I want to clean and organize all the time. Last night after dinner I decided to go up to the bathroom and scrub the tub. For no reason. I just thought it needed it. Isnt it too early to nest??
  
  
• I have a dresser upstairs in the attic that we will use for the baby and it is bothering me that its up there. I dont want to have to add another thing to Brian's plate but I really want it to be brought down.
  
  
• I have to re-do the closet in Owens room to make room for that baby stuff.
  
  
• I want to sell my couch and buy a new set.
  
  
• I need area rugs in every room.
  
  
• We need to put the dining room table in the attic. Its a junk collector. We never use it.
  
  
• We need to make a play room out of our living room and make our dining room into our living room. Basically the living room/Dining room will be the living room/play room.
  

So these are the things that are going through my mind. There is really no reason to be worried about any of this at all. I know that I will get it all done, even if it takes me a year to do so.

I will just stop worrying now.